i declare that job hunting is one of the most dissapointing and depressing not to mention HARDEST things i have ever had to do in my life. Proper job hunthing that is - the kind where you start building your intended high flying career from.

If i knew how hard it would be now, I would've studied way harder and not slacked off in Uni. Or maybe i did study but I failed to make the grade and i'm just not cut out for this kind of life.... (you see how down all those rejection or insinuations of rejections gets a person?) I wonder if there is an easier way to do this. Nothing comes easy in life, i'm starting to believe that now. if i get a job i'd be so grateful....

I bought a couple of Job Interviewing books and read them over, at the end of the day when I actually GET into the interview stage, i struggle to remember all that i'm supposed to do and end up being myself, and sometimes i think myself isn't good enough because there is always someone out there better than me. I notice that me, not being a particularly egoistical person by nature (but loves praises-face it, who doesn't?) has to resort to writing cover letters that has every paragraph beginning with "I AM" and every other sentence going "I ALSO" and that i am grasping (GRASPING) at anything i have or had done to try get ahead in the "game".

Is it really a game to get that interview and then act out a performance and hopefully get that job? Everything that I've worked for the last 17 years has led up to this. Getting THAT job. Making Something out of myself, but then i wonder WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT ME? I may not be deans list or a honour student, but i did ok, i didn't fail, i made it this far, graduated from uni. And yet, there are so many million or billions of people out there better than me. I have a nice personality, i get along well with people, i can cook - so do a million other people and they can do it better. At this rate, i might end up in the slums of the city before i know it?